Friday, May 31, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?




Season One: Episode Sixteen
Je Suis Une Amie




Oh, look a mailbox. 


Hey!  Those were probably good coupons!






Mike wants to get take out from Sausage Heaven?  Sausage HEAVEN? 


Why don't you guys just have some cereal?  You'll be less likely to get heart attacks.

The pledge deadline for the dance-a-thon is today?  Two episodes after the dance-a-thon happened?  Sounds a little fishy.  Continuity issue?


You know, Aria, if your mom really did go to the exhibit, and she really did see you there with Ezra, wouldn't she have confronted you about it?




If I were Spencer, I would start looking into what other things Alison could have possibly purchased in my name.  She should get a free credit report.



Poor Toby.




Okay, wouldn't they take your ticket from you when you entered the gallery?  So the fact that the ticket was still in Mr. Montgomery's coat pocket means that it wasn't used.  So can we STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS ALREADY?



Thursday, May 30, 2013

This Month In Fiction

Obviously this isn't including the other books I reviewed in separate posts this month.  I'm going to try lumping them together for a little while to see how I like it.




Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore
by Robin Sloan


First of all, the cover glows in the dark, so this book has already won.  But the insides are just as wonderful, which is why this book has skyrocketed to the top of my wishlist.

Clay Jannon gets a job working the night shift at Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore and discovers that the three-story tall shelves are holding more than just your typical books.  He starts involving his multi-talented friends as he learns more and more about the possible secret society that borrows the coded books from the highest shelves.

Listen, I love anything with a secret society in it.  I've been waiting to be invited into a secret society my entire life, and I feel that literature like this is only helping me to prepare for when that inevitably happens.  That being said, Sloan is pretty obvious in his quest to bridge the gap between the lovers of paper books and the growing e-reader population.  There were a couple of times where I felt like saying, "Yes, I get it.  Progress and all that.  I already bought a Nook, so I get it."  But for all the insistence that technology is moving forward and that we should move with it, there was just as much (I thought) praise for the old-fashioned way of doing things.  And, you know, maybe we can all live in this world together and hold hands.

Favorite Quotes

At first I thought I had a crush on her, but then I realized she's an android.

So I guess you could say Neel owes me a few favors, except that so many favors have passed between us now that they are no longer distinguishable as individual acts, just a bright haze of loyalty.  Our friendship is a nebula.

"Yep.  Shadows and book smell, we've got it all."

That's just a feeling, not a fact, but remember (I repeat): people believe weirder things than this.

Over by Tabitha, the yarn has come out.  First-graders are digging through wide plastic containers, looking for their favorite colors.  One of them falls in and shrieks, and her two friends start poking her with needles.

Read more reviews about this book on LibraryThing.




The Lullaby of Polish Girls
by Dagmara Dominszyk


Disclaimer:  I received a free advanced copy of this book from the publisher through LibraryThing in exchange for an honest review.


Anna, Kamila and Justyna become best friends in the early 90's when Anna visits her grandmother in Kielce, Poland for the first time since moving to America as a young girl.  Despite having better opportunities in America, Kielce is home to Anna, and she comes back every chance she gets.

Throughout their teen years, the girls remain extremely close, picking up where they left off every time Anna comes back.  But as they grow older, and real life gets in the way, their friendship falls apart.  It takes the murder of Justyna's husband to make all three women realize how important their relationship was.

Even though this novel starts out with a murder, it's NOT a mystery.  It's about the girls and their similar needs of romantic fulfillment.  All three characters have distinct personalities, and the story switches between perspectives, as well as between the past and the present.

The polish terms throughout the novel caused me to stumble occasionally, but the overall story made up for it.  The characters could have used a little more depth, but for a stand-alone novel, it wasn't bad.


You can read more reviews about this book on LibraryThing.





Agnes Grey
by Anne Bronte 


I read this as part of my Shelf By Shelf Project.  Do you remember that?  Because I barely do.

Anne Bronte must have been the boring sister, because this book was a DRAG.  I mean, Agnes was likeable enough, but she wasn't very interesting.  The novel is meant to be read as her diary, chronicling her early days as a governess for the worst children in England.  Honestly, if I found out that the little boy (Tom) that she had charge of in the first family she worked for turned out to be the Antichrist, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

The next family Anne works for has older children that, in my opinion, don't really need a governess anymore.  She doesn't appear to actually teach them much, and she winds up doing their homework for them when she DOES teach them.  She stays with them for a couple years, which is how she meets Mr. Weston.  I didn't realize he was the hero of the story at first because he was so nice, something a little unusual for a Bronte novel.

Not a bad novel.  But those kids should have been beaten.

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?



Season One: Episode Fifteen
If At First You Don't Succeed, Lie, Lie Again





Nice hat, Aria.


So the girls now suspect that Jason took this picture of Ali, probably from her bedroom, on the night she went missing.  Why does Ali's bedroom have such a great view of Spencer's backyard?  Shouldn't that be the view from Spencer's bedroom?



Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?




Season One: Episode Fourteen
Careful What U Wish 4




Blah blah blah, replay of the end of last episode.  Oh, it's not a replay.  They're just watching the video over and over.  Looking for clues, I guess.  Although you can't tell much from such a short video.


Okay, Hanna thinks they are doing it in the video too.


This totally looks like somebody is being humped.  Especially because you just hear breathing and grunting, not a blow to the head or anything like that.

But seriously, will you guys please call the FBI?  Thank you, Hanna.



OH SHIT.


Why would you leave the video open?  Especially if you knew he was in the barn?



Just call the FBI and tell them someone sent the video to you anonymously, duh.


Last Night I Dreamt That

I was working at a salad bar.  I had almost finished developing the perfect way of mixing the lettuce with the ranch dressing in several bowls so that all I had to do when someone came to order was add their preferred veggies.  But then I woke up.


What I Learned From This Dream
  • I am an overachiever.
  • I'm clearly still traumatized from working as a register/salad bar girl at CiCi's Pizza the summer after I graduated high school.
  • I have no problem forcing ranch dressing on people without asking if they prefer another dressing.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?



Season One: Episode Thirteen
Know Your Frenemies




What is Melissa whining about to Ian?  And why haven't they moved his shit into the barn?


Does the fact that A sent Spencer an email ABOUT Melissa mean that A is not Melissa?  I was really hoping it would turn out to be her so I could have better reasons to hate her.



Monday, May 27, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?




Season One: Episode Twelve
Salt Meets Wound




She is NOT safe, you guys.  A has been in the room with all of you at one point!  And she/he clearly already has it out for Hanna, so you might want to consider sleeping in shifts.


What a stupid place to hide money.




You know, my first reaction on finding the money in the lasagna box would have been that there had been some weird, magical mistake at the lasagna company.  It's a miracle!  We're rich!  Then I probably would have sat down and thought about it.

Well, not anymore!


Friday, May 24, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?



Season One: Episode Eleven
Moments Later


I feel like A runs like a girl.  So that narrows the suspects down to about a hundred.



I bet Ashley is freaking out right now.  I'd be freaking out too, if I didn't know the cops were probably just going to tell her about Hanna.  You know it's a small town when the cops decided it would probably be easier to just drive around looking for Ashley's car rather than waiting for her at her house.




I think this can be considered one of the worst birthday parties ever at this point.  Someone being hit by a car is kind of a buzz kill. 



What is Noel doing here?  I know he wasn't invited because he was crying about it last episode.  Maybe he came to spy on Aria?  Or RUN OVER HANNA?  None of the girls next to him seem at all bothered by his presence, but maybe they knew how badly he wanted to come.


Thursday, May 23, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?



Season One: Episode Ten
Keep Your Friends Close





Turns out Ian is the new field hockey coach at the high school.  Typical.  They'll let anyone in this town work at that school.




Mona gives all the girls invites to her birthday "glamping" party, which I think is pretty generous considering Hanna's the only one who doesn't hate her.



Oh, A was invited to the party too!



Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Book Review

Wedding Night
by Sophie Kinsella









Sophie Kinsella's novels are always good for a fun, light read.  Prepare for the typical, over-the-top shenanigans involving romance with this most recent one.  I usually find her main characters a bit annoying.  This one was no different, but the other characters more than made up for it.  There were a lot of laugh out loud moments.  It's chick-lit, you guys.  There's not a lot I can say for the plot except that it was typical for it's genre, not that that's necessarily a bad thing.


The Cover
Nothing special.  The columns and the scroll work look a little Grecian, which is the point, since a lot of the novel takes place on a Greek resort.  Everything that looks marigoldish in the above image is actually metallic gold, so it's a nice color scheme.


Back of the Book

Lottie just knows that her boyfriend is going to propose during lunch at one of London's fanciest restaurants.  But when his big question involves a trip abroad, not a trip down the aisle, she's completely crushed.  So when Ben, an old flame, calls her out of the blue and reminds Lottie of their pact to get married if they were both still single at thirty, she jumps at the chance.  No formal dates-- just a quick march to the altar and a honeymoon on Ikonos, the sun-drenched Greek island where they first met years ago.
Their family and friends are horrified.  Fliss, Lottie's older sister, knows that Lottie can be impulsive-- but surely this is her worst decision yet.  And Ben's colleague Lorcan fears that this hasty marriage will ruin his friend's career.  To keep Lottie and Ben from making a terrible mistake, Fliss concocts an elaborate scheme to sabotage their wedding night.  As she and Lorcan jet off to Ikonos in pursuit, Lottie and Ben are in for a honeymoon to remember, for better...or worse.



Things I Liked

  • The novel switches between Lottie and Fliss' point of view.  This was refreshing because chick-lit heroines can be really annoying and it's often difficult to read through their terrible decisions.  Fliss made some poor decisions too, but I wanted to yell at her a LOT less than I wanted to yell at Lottie.
  • The sisterly bond between Fliss and Lottie was fun to read.  When they're not trying to hide things from each other about this marriage, they are shockingly honest about everything, including their sex lives.
  • Both ladies have successful careers, and can survive on their own.  (Unlike Becky, in Kinsella's Shopaholic Series)
  • Ben's friend Lorcan
  • Lottie and Ben met on a vacation Lottie took on her "gap year" before she started University.  Why didn't I do something cool like this?


Things I Didn't Like

  • Lottie's whole acceptance of the proposal of a man she hasn't seen or spoken to in fifteen years.  What a TERRIBLE idea.
  • As stupid as Lottie's idea is, it's not Fliss' responsibility to fix it for her.  Just let her fuck up and fix her own mess.
  • Fliss drags her kid to Ikonos to stop the whole fiasco, taking him out of school.  But, she worries the whole time that he's not adjusting to her and her husband's divorce.  Umm, maybe he needs some structure and this vacation is a bad idea, Fliss.


Quotes
Richard looks even more desperate.  "The truth is, I don't always know what you're on about," he says in a sudden confessional rush.  "So sometimes I just...nod along."


One thing: I can damn well wear lipstick.  Perhaps they'll put that on my grave.  FELICITY GRAVENEY LIES HERE.  SHE COULD DAMN WELL WEAR LIPSTICK.


Please not "lose a stone."  Because 1) she's skinny already, and 2) last time she went on a diet, she made me be her "buddy" and instructed me to phone up every half hour and say, "Keep to the plan, you fat bitch," then complained when I refused.


I glare at him.  He's tragic.  First of all, that's not even the script.  Second, where has that fake "sexy" voice come from?  Third, he's now rolling up his sleeves, as though he's some sort of rugged, pharmaceutical-research version of Indiana Jones.  He really shouldn't.  His forearms are all white and veiny.


"Because I'm in charge of my life, thank you."  I pound my fist in my palm.  "Not some guy who can't even do a smokey eye."


Is this how rich people live?  No wonder celebrities look so miserable all the time.  They're thinking, If only the butler would let us have some bloody sex.


My entire face is prickling.  I can't believe he's dragging me into this.  I can't believe he's telling the whole beach we're going to do it on the floor.



Read more reviews about this book on LibraryThing.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?



Season One: Episode Nine
The Perfect Storm




I guess they're studying for the SATs?  Yep, I was right.  Don't worry ladies, it doesn't matter that much.


Somebody you can scratch and sniff?  That's disgusting, Hanna.


Here comes Mariska Hargitay Mrs. Hastings.  Yeah, where IS Emily?



Oh, WTF?



She's covered in dirt.  What is she looking for?  You're going to get mud on the bed!

What did she bury?!


Friday, May 17, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?




Season One: Episode Eight
Please, Do Talk About Me When I'm Gone



What's the point of having suspenders if you're not going to fasten them, Aria?

Spencer also wants to know.

Way to judge Ali's brother, guys.  Just because he was in his room by himself doesn't mean he wasn't smart.  Maybe he was in there studying for hours and that's how he got into an Ivy League school.



How much did they pay for it?

Okay, am I the only one who thinks that this little bowl/fountain thing is fugly?  No, Jason is NOT going to like it.  Ali better be happy about being remembered only by a bench, since she was such a shitty person in real life.  If it were me, I would rather be remembered as "The Girl That Bench Is For" than "That Girl Who Was The Worst Human Being Ever."



FLASHBACK



Uh, no Alison, I don't think your friends fantasize about dying like you do.





Are the clay figurines on the bowl supposed to be them?


Thursday, May 16, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?




Season One: Episode Seven
The Homecoming Hangover



Who fucked with the lights in this hallway?  And Hanna's dress is not very flattering.

I wonder who's going to pay for the damage to the chem lab.




That looks like a serious head injury, Toby!  She probably needs medical attention!  Oh, he's taking her to the hospital.  Well, good then.