Sunday, May 19, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?

Season One: Episode Nine
The Perfect Storm

I guess they're studying for the SATs?  Yep, I was right.  Don't worry ladies, it doesn't matter that much.

Somebody you can scratch and sniff?  That's disgusting, Hanna.

Here comes Mariska Hargitay Mrs. Hastings.  Yeah, where IS Emily?

Oh, WTF?

She's covered in dirt.  What is she looking for?  You're going to get mud on the bed!

What did she bury?!

So, there's obviously more schools in this town than just this one, since Alex goes to another.  But obviously he would take his SAT here, because this school is the only important one.  Alex's school is probably just a shack in the middle of the woods that all the other poor kids go to.

Whoa, what's with the look Mariska gave to Alex?  OH, maybe she slept with him?!  Gross.

I see Dickface in the background.  Is he monitoring the test?

What a jerk.  Hey, let me tell you all about the memorial and how it's ruined and all your hard work has gone down the drain.  Have fun with your SATs!

Way to look guilty, Emily.  And good job not looking at all surprised about the vandalism.

I don't think it's very professional or legal for Mrs. Montgomery to be monitoring a test that her daughter is taking.

You were just ordering things from a catalog, Ashley?  What about economizing?  And Mr. Montgomery is ONLY coming over to fax, sure.

Ha!  Mona bought Hanna's bag!  I guess that's funny?  Actually, I don't care.

Is A sending book clues in the text messages now?

Okay, something definitely went on between Mrs. Hastings and Alex. 

Mona registered for her birthday at Saks?  Whatever.

So Mr. Montgomery is faxing a permission slip for a trip that Mike is already on?  Why was Mike even allowed to go?

Oh, Noel is the guitar guy.  So gross.  Run away, Aria.  You don't want to have to suffer through this.  I HATE when they start spontaneously singing.

Is Emily hallucinating Ali?


Ali can read?  Oh.  This was their make out spot.

How romantic.  And sad.  Because she was such a bitch.  Emily can do better.

Oh, crap.  More singing.  You're being really loud!  People are studying!

Oops!  Fitz saw you almost kiss guitarNoel!  Maybe you wouldn't have been caught if you weren't scream/singing.

This is a small town, Byron.  Everyone knows that you cheated on Ella with that home wrecker from Center Stage.

I would have cried during Transformers 2 as well, Ashley.  I didn't see it, but if it was as terrible as the first one, then it's a tearjerker.


Oh, shut up Ali.  You know how to hook your own bra.  Uh, what a bitch.  Ditch her, Emily.

Oh shit.  Emily stayed in the library while everyone else went to hide from the tornado in the locker room.

I'm confused as to why they even bothered having all the kids here for the test if the weather was this bad.
Nice job, Ella!  You just inadvertantly gave Fitz some advice about Aria!

So what are you trying to prove, Dickface?  That it's really easy for you to steal Emily's backpack during a tornado?
Leave Toby the fuck alone!  OH MY GOD!  He does not have a warrant for ANY of this!

I'm so pissed right now.  Did he not consider that he was outing Emily to everyone?  I want this guy fired and then beaten to death!  Where are all the grown ups?

Oh, thank God you're here Mariska Hargitay.  Kick this guys ass!  She is a lawyer, you stupid shit!  You just made a huge mistake!

Yay!  The SAT was rescheduled!  You all got up early and studied and were trapped in the locker room for nothing!

Okay, so the story with Mariska and Alex is that she got super super drunk at the club and told Alex about her secret breast cancer.  I think you should probably go to marriage counseling if you're not comfortable talking to your husband about the CANCER you have.

Are they going to go on a date?  What a horrible idea.  Oh good, they both feel awkward enough about it to cancel.  You guys are pretty much the same as your teenage children.

Emily, you should probably get a lawyer.

Ummm, what's with Lucas?



Our first glimpse of the video.  Fuck this video.

Official Count
Coffee Sightings:  None?!
Ezra and Aria Make Their Relationship Obvious: 1
Flashbacks: 2

Until next time, Bitches!

All screencaps courtesy of Fanpop and The Pretty Little Liars Wiki.

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