Monday, May 27, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?

Season One: Episode Twelve
Salt Meets Wound

She is NOT safe, you guys.  A has been in the room with all of you at one point!  And she/he clearly already has it out for Hanna, so you might want to consider sleeping in shifts.

What a stupid place to hide money.

You know, my first reaction on finding the money in the lasagna box would have been that there had been some weird, magical mistake at the lasagna company.  It's a miracle!  We're rich!  Then I probably would have sat down and thought about it.

Well, not anymore!

How?  How are you going to pay it back, Ashley?  You probably can't seduce that old lady like you did with Detective Dickface.

Oh, hey, it's Tennis Alex. Where has he been?

Mariska got a haircut!  Spencer looks like Nancy Drew.

Are Melissa and Ian moving in to the barn?  Why can't they get their own place?  At this point, I would just give up on ever getting to sleep in the barn you renovated, Spence.

HEY TOBY!  Have fun at City Hall?

I think Maya should wear whatever she wants to this family dinner, as long as it's not as much plaid as Aria.

"My mom isn't your mom."  And thank God, because Maya probably hasn't even seen her mom since she moved into Ali's house.  Who's feeding her?

Try not to act so fidgety with Noel, Ezra.  The guilty is coming off you in waves.  Just change the grade.  I know, I know, integrity and all that.  But it's better than going to jail.

Stop holding his hand at school!

Jenna probably heard all of that.

Cool it, Nancy Drew!  He doesn't want to go to the championship, or whateverthethingishegotinthemailIwasn'treallylistening.

I bet Maya was a really cute flower girl!

Just a heads up to anyone who was thinking of buying Mrs. Fields some jewelry, she is NOT into permanent marker rings.

How the hell did all those people get in the backyard without her hearing them?  Although A gets into their houses all the time without anyone noticing, so never mind.

I'm glad someone thought to invite Lucas.


Oh, wow.  That girl is the WORST actress ever.

"I only kill when I need food."  What?  How was Ali not in therapy?

Oh boy, Lucas' drunk.  And talking a bunch of nonsense.

Emily and Maya make such a good couple because they both have amazing hair.

Oh, shut the fuck up, Noel.  Aria, you've got to be able to see through this.  He's not even acting well.

Is Toby carving into his shoes out on his porch?  Oh, it's because of his house arrest bracelet thingy.

Which he is now about to remove.  I thought that was the whole point of these things?

You guys do NOT tell each other everything.  Who are you kidding, Hanna?

What's with Alex?  

Fucking seriously, A?

Okay, so it DID have something to do with tennis.

Okay, Lucas, that's enough.  Nothing you're saying is even funny. 

What the fuck are you talking about?  Oh God, what did he do to Alison?  Was it just destroying the memorial thing?  Or did he do something else?  Like MURDER her?

Honestly, I don't think Noel is smart enough to be A.  I just think he's a guy that saw the girl he likes swapping spit with a much hotter teacher, and now he wants revenge.  Too bad he's real shitty at revenge.

I wonder how Jenna and Toby managed to have sex all the time without their parents noticing?  Unless they're just as absent as Maya's parents.

Oh shit, Jenna.  You're the worst girlfriend/sister ever!  I really want Toby to get some help, because I think Jenna is a rapist.

I can't believe those assholes are making Hanna clean up her own surprise party.  And I just realized that Ashley left her daughter home alone for a weekend right after she got hit by a car.

Oh shitohshitohshit.  I'm going to throw up!

It's just Ashley. 

Awwww, nuts.

Really?  Really?!  You couldn't just NOT COMMENT?  You had to tell your daughter that she makes you want to hurl?

I would not put up with all this shit of Ian's piling up around the house.  Why would they put it all in front of the stairs?


Apparently when Ali was supposed to be visiting her grandmother, she was at the same resort that Ian has a luggage tag for.  So what, they met up there to do it?

You know, Ashley, you have no one to blame but yourself.  Next time, finding a better place to hide your stolen money.

Oh goodie, more blackmail.

A must be some kind of psycho to own a clown bank.

Official Count
Messages From A: 3
Coffee Sightings: 1
Ezra and Aria Make Their Relationship Obvious: 1
Jenna "Looks" At Someone: 1
Flashbacks: 2

Until next time, Bitches!

All screencaps courtesy of Fanpop.

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