Friday, May 3, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?

Season One: Episode Two
The Jenna Thing

The girls are eating at the Apple Rose Grille.  I guess it's the evening after the funeral?  They're all still wearing their black dresses.  I like that they're just now realizing that they told Ali all their business, but she never told them any of her secrets.  Except Spencer, who knew she was dating some older guy with a girlfriend.  I'm surprised she doesn't have any idea who that guy was, since there's only about twenty people in this town.

What do you mean Ali was a nosy bitch that was sneaking around?

Oh, and Hanna might want to stop dipping into that flask so much.

Oh, Jenna's here.  I wonder who does her hair for her every day?  It always looks so perfect.

I'd ask how she got here, but this town is so small, she probably lives across the street.

Okay, WTF.  They all just left in opposite directions.

Did they even pay for their food?  This is a really small town; are they just going to leave wherever they are EVERY TIME they see Jenna?

I forgot how much coffee these girls drink.  Let's keep a count, shall we?

I guess they drink so much coffee because they must get up at 4 am to get ready for each day.  Emily had time to get dressed, do her hair and read all of To Kill A Mockingbird on her porch before leaving for school.

And if Emily got up at 4, her mom got up at 3 to go play tennis or whatever sport outfit she's wearing.

And they just implied that Mya's parents aren't even living there yet.  Where the fuck are they?  Shouldn't the cops have contacted them and asked them to come home?  Dead bodies in the yard qualify as an emergency.

Spencer also got up at 4 to play hockey before school.  This is hockey, right?  I can't remember. 

I hope it's still early enough for her to make herself a bit more presentable.

Don't talk to each other in the hallway!  But, nice haircut Ezra.  It's a vast improvement from the pilot.  I am proud of Aria for taking the proper precautions and attempting to switch classes.  I wish Ezra was as aware of the potential lawsuits as she is.

Hanna's skirt is REALLY short.

Ugh, I hate Ben.  All I see is teeth.

"Will the only four girls still in the hallway please report to the office?"

But first, a quick text from A, in the ugliest text format I've ever seen.

What kind of phone does Aria have?

Oh, hello, Detective DickFace.

Clearly, sex with Ashley is not going so well, if he's always this angry afterwards.  Or maybe he's just mad because he's a terrible cop and his search is leading him nowhere.  Perhaps he should try to find some actual evidence?

Stop sounding so guilty, Spencer.  And why is it so unbelievable that they would be tired?  It was nighttime.  Oh my God, I hate this guy so much.  He is making something out of NOTHING.

Okay, they just admitted to lying so I guess I'll stop defending them.

Aria just invited Jenna to the lunch table.  Super awkward.

I guess they only drink juice at this school.

"What happened to you girls?"  Uh, Jenna, their friend died.  Remember?  The funeral was five minutes ago.

Flashback time.

I never did this whole trying on shirts thing with my friends.  And if you don't want people to watch you changing, don't do it with the curtains open.  And isn't Emily's room upstairs?  He couldn't have been standing outside.  Also, what good does blowing up his garage do?

Is it just me, or does Emily seem to be having a pretty good time?

Seriously though, what did they think this was going to achieve?  His parents would come outside, see the garage and ground Toby for peeping at girls?

We can now establish that Jenna isn't A, since they just received a text in front of her.  Right?

I like how Ezra really gave underlining the term "innocence" some thought.  And Aria's transfer has been declined, better keep your boners in check, guys!

I think Hanna's boyfriend might be gay.  And I don't think his dad cares if they come to church or not.  Detective DickFace is back.  Are they going to date now?

He reminds me an awful lot of Rolfe from The Sound of Music.

This place looks an awful lot like the Apple Rose Grille.  Is that the only restaurant in town?

Ugh, I will be so happy when we get past this sexual innuendo phase.

You know, I actually really like Wren (I only just realized I've been misspelling his name.  Sorry, guys).  And this whole sharing the vodka thing.  Melissa is so terrible, who would like her? 

These phones are really lame.

Ew, Emily.  Calm down.  He's not even that attractive.

How is she getting around all those teeth?!

"We're a very informal family."  How true.  Ella, on behalf of all of us, please stop.

And Spencer, opening ALL your books and spreading them out on your bed isn't convincing me that you're really into your grades.  You're trying too hard.  And another vest?  How many do you have?

Ha!  How do you like that, Melissa!

This detective is SOOOOO inappropriate.

I mean, there's got to be a better way to spend his time.  Go look for evidence under the gazebo!

Ooooo, friendship bracelets!

I'm going to assume this was probably the only nice thing Ali ever did for them.

I really hate that Aria's dad is making her keep this secret.  Once you've been caught by your kid, you need to fess up to your wife.  This is ridiculous.

And they order a lot of take-out.

Okay, Spencer.  If you had just kept jogging right past Jenna, she wouldn't have known it was you.  Grow up.

Official Counts
Coffee Sightings: 5
Ezra and Aria Make Their Relationship Obvious: 2
Jenna "Looks" At Someone: 1

All Screencaps courtesy of Fanpop.

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