Sunday, June 23, 2013

Who Wants To Watch Pretty Little Liars With Me?

Season Two: Episode Five
The Devil You Know

The "Suicide" Note:

I killed Alison.  I
lost my temper because
she knew too much.  But
there's only so much you
can bury.  It won't
be that easy, but
crossout I know how to 
get ride of the
pain.  I can't crossout 
run from the law.
Come and find me.
- Ian

The end of the letter doesn't make any sense.  "Come and find me?"  Who is he talking to?  Why would he want someone to come and find him when he had just killed himself?  No one would be able to even read that letter until they had already "found him."

Shut up, Garrett.  You're not sorry.

And he's been dead for at least a week.  So it was totally A that's been orchestrating this whole thing.

What does A want is an excellent question, Emily.  This whole situations is super gross.

Why would the suicide note look familiar?  God damn it.

Spencer accidentally tells her grandma to get bent when she thinks she's one of the many reporters calling.

Sorry, Grandma!

Do you really have to have a whole funeral?

Can't you just have a small family ceremony and then you can invite everyone over to spit on his grave once Melissa is taken home?

Oh, Ashley.  I just want to hug her.

So Logan Reed works at Speed Demon Express and also advertises himself as a blackmail money delivery boy on the side?

I would like all the parents AND the cops of Rosewood to give all these girls a big fat apology for not believing them and letting Ian walk around in public.

I guess this is the part where we're going to figure out why the suicide note is so familiar?  Or maybe they're just going to tease it?

Spencer, please don't tell me you are trying to replace Melissa's wedding ring through the internet.  Just don't bother.  She'll just continue to assume she lost it.  Aww fuck, A is going to out you.  Forget everything I just said.

So Mike just tried to break into Jason's house.  That's what he's been doing for the last few weeks?

I don't think Jason is just trying to be nice and cut Mike a break.  I think there must be a good reason why he doesn't want the police in his house.

So that's it?  The suicide note is just a combination of different messages from A? BOR-ING.  A couldn't come up with anything better?

WE GET IT, CALEB.  Your foster mom likes cashing her government checks.

Stop talking so loudly in the middle of class, ladies.  Do you want everyone to know your business?

According to Emily, you can train yourself to solve coded suicide notes just by watching Wheel of Fortune.

Are you fucking kidding me?  Mike was the one who tackled Aria?  This is getting ridiculous.  I no longer feel sorry for him.  The poormike tag is officially retired.

I think Ali would totally approve of Hanna wearing this dress to her murderer's funeral.

Oh my God, they're having the funeral in the church where he tried to kill Spencer?  I understand it's the only church, but really?  Just have it in a field somewhere.

Wow, a lot of people showed up for this.  Was there nothing else to do today?

Can we stop confiding in Garrett, please?

I feel like this whole charade is ridiculous.  Why would they be the ones to throw dirt on his grave?

I guess it's supposed to be a metaphor, but I hate it.

Hanna went to her locker after the funeral?

And then decided to butt in to Caleb's problem with his foster mom?  Dolce, Gabbana and Liebowitz?  I love it.

I don't know how I feel about Jason.  It must have been awful for him to have spent all this time secretly scared that he killed his own sister.

What the flying fuck just happened?!  Come on, Melissa.  You can't honestly think that Spencer would be texting you pretending to be Ian.  That would be awful.  Is this the only reason A gave Spencer that cell phone?  To cause fights?

Garrett and Logan are involved in this together?  But I thought Logan said a woman hired him.  Did Logan think Garrett was a woman?

Oh, it was Jenna.  What the fuck are all these people doing?

I think that's a fake bag of ice that Caleb just gave Hanna.  What happened, did they not have enough money in the budget?

Please get back together!


They printed out booklets for this funeral?!  What a waste.

What?  WHAT?

Oh no, I think I remember something fucked up happening here.

I don't want to watch this.

Oh, Jesus.


I can't do this anymore.

I'm so freaked out.

Official Count
Messages From A: 6 (including the suicide note, the note Jason had, and the movie)
Coffee Sightings: 1

Best Outfit
And the award goes to...

Spencer, for this really cute coat!  Her hair looks really nice here too.  I hope she didn't barf all over this coat and ruin it, which is what I would have done as soon as that movie started playing.

Until next time, Bitches!

All screencaps courtesy of Fanpop.

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